5 Ways To More Confidence
She was called Alex.
She worked in a local Italian café down the road from where I lived. The first time I strolled in to get a coffee I immediately noticed how pretty her eyes were. She had this confident swagger with the way she went about her business and she had an infectious smile.
I was a little awestruck. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to go out with her. I did nothing. Just bought my coffee and left.
The second time I decided to grab breakfast. We spoke briefly about pointless topics and I left again having done nothing.
The third time was much the same although I could have sworn she seemed happy to see me. Probably just my imagination.
The fourth time I went in I decided I was going to ask her out. What was the worst that could happen? I didn’t. I bottled in. Pathetic.
4 days later I entered again determined to prove to myself that I had the confidence to ask her out. I left. Again. But 50 yards up the road I came to a sudden stop. Frustrated and annoyed with myself for lacking the balls to do anything, I pulled my shoulders back, stood up tall and strode back into the café.
A little taken a back to see me again so quickly, she asked me if everything was okay. I nodded and proceeded to buy another coffee. I took a deep breath and asked her if she’d like to go out for a drink sometime. She smiled and told me she would if she didn’t have a boyfriend. Ah, a classic. I smiled back, told her it wasn’t a problem, paid for my coffee and left.
Feeling a little deflated but also proud that I finally mustered up the confidence to ask, I exited with a new found swagger. It was as if this enormous weight had been lifted from shoulders. I felt free.
Confidence – Why Is It So God Damn Important?
That’s simple. It’s the key to life. Confidence is healthy. It’s what separates the weak from the strong.
People with more confidence get further. They stand out. They get away with more. They are more likely to get that job. They are more likely to get the girl’s number (ironic I know).
Having high levels of self-confidence gives you an edge. And anywhere you can an edge is worth going after.
The edge is your golden ticket. Confidence provides that.
Without confidence you’re destined to fail. Why? Because your competitors have got it.
You need it. I can help you get it. Let’s dive in.
How To Build Your Confidence
There are many ways to do this and you’ll hear differing opinions. That’s okay because not everything I say will work for you. That said, there’s a good chance one of my ideas will work dramatically well for you. The catch? You have to be willing to give them a go before you dismiss them. Deal?
Confidence Tip #1 – Take Action
The best way to build your confidence is to just do things. Action leads to momentum. You’ll learn more from taking action and failing than doing nothing and staying the same. Do something.
That’s what happened to me in the story. Eventually I got round to taking some form of action. It failed but I learnt from it and my confidence still improved.
Nothing happens until you move. You have to take some form of deliberate action to move forward. Keep your momentum rolling forward and your confidence will grow. It has no choice. As soon as you start thinking about doing something, just do it. That slogan from Nike is the best line a company has come out with. Use it.
There will be times when you fear taking action. That’s normal. When faced with those situations I have people ask themselves what the best and worst case outcome is. 99% of the time the best outcome has far more upside than the worst does downside. That should reassure you.
Taking action is simplest but hardest advice for most people take. Why? Because it requires that you actually DO something. I promise you every action you take will be another notch on the confidence belt. The risk is worth the reward. Get to it.
Confidence Tip #2 – Learn A New Skill
Talk to the girl. Cook without a recipe. Learn a new language. Try a new sex position. Do something new and learn from it. This is how you win.
That right there is all there is to it. The more you put yourself outside your comfort zone the greater your confidence will be. Do things that scare you. Use the question the best or worst and weigh it up. You already know the answer so get going.
Learning a new skill to build confidence is nothing ground breaking. You’ll become more knowledgeable. The more knowledge you have about a given subject the more confident you will be about it. Simple
Confidence Tip #3 – Develop Better Habits
Your habits define who you are. They show your priorities which in turn dictate your actions. Can you see where this is leading?
Building better habits enhances every area of your life. It will stop you relying on motivation, enhance your confidence and lead to more action.
More action = more confidence. A simple but effective formula.
Building better habits is a process that requires patience. It cannot be rushed. I talk more about this subject here. Read it. Then apply it. Your confidence will improve.
Confidence Tip #4 – Get In Better Shape
This is a big one and goes without saying. People in better shape tend to be more confident. Building my body was one of the best things I ever did for my life. Developing more confidence was just a part of that.
Getting in better shape is specific to you. It could mean wanting to look like a Greek God. It could mean shifting 20 pounds. It could mean being able to walk to places without getting out of breath. They are all acceptable. The trick is in just getting started. Remember, action leads to momentum. You have to just start.
Why is this important? You’ll have better posture, you’ll look better with and without clothes, you’ll feel better about yourself and you’ll carry yourself with more pride.
Committing to getting in better shape is something you have to prioritize. It won’t just happen. Being out of shape is basically you announcing to the world that you don’t care about yourself. That is not an image you want to portray. All you can do is work at it. Show up, put in the work, commit and take action. That’s all anyone can do.
If you want help with this, shoot me an email here and I’ll do what I can to help. Sometimes having someone to be accountable to is all it takes.
Confidence Tip #5 – Learn A Martial Art
Discipline. Patience. Commitment. Fitness. These are all words I can use to describe learning a martial art. Every single one of these traits will help you develop more confidence.
I fell in love with Krav Maga and it has enhanced my life tenfold. It can do that for your confidence. Pick a martial art, attend some classes and give it a chance. Maybe, just maybe, learning a martial art is the new skill you decide to pursue (I highly recommend it).
Building your confidence is a case of getting uncomfortable, learning from failures and taking action. That’s the secret.
It’s not plain sailing. There’ll be times you feel deflated but it’s worth it. You want to stand out. You want to be taken seriously. You want to be seen as a role model. Building your confidence will help you win at life. Isn’t it time you got started?